Blog

There was a time in my life when everything seemed to be going wrong.

I won’t go into too much detail about it, but I will say that I am still grateful to be here today.

Since that time, around 8 years ago, a lot has happened in my life, largely owing to a shift in my mentality on my part.

I went from being a timid, shy, reticent guy with significant self-esteem issues who believed life was pointless and that all he had done was also pointless to becoming a generally joyful and self-accepting person.

I can honestly tell that I am much happier and better off now.

But it took a long time for me to reach to this point, and it wasn’t without its challenges.

It’s not easy to change your thinking.

We all have deeply entrenched thinking patterns and ideas that we carry about with us, often without even realising it, and that have an impact on our attitudes in every way.

We can’t just try to acquire a new mindset because we’re already struggling so much; we have to become almost painfully conscious of the concepts we’re thinking about (more on that in a bit).

That being said, this is the technique that has worked best for me in changing my thinking through the years and that I have shown others.

The first step is to become aware of your thoughts.

The very first step is to become conscious of our own ideas.

With tens of thousands of thoughts per day, we don’t have to be aware of them all, but we should endeavour to be conscious of as many as possible.

Because we can only change our thoughts if we are aware of what they are.

It’s like only being able to fix what you can see is broken. You will never take efforts to repair a broken limb if you do not notice it; in fact, you will not be given the opportunity to do so until you notice it.

Begin by keeping a journal of your thoughts.

Write in this journal three times a day. Set an alarm for those times (preferably, at different times throughout the day), and then write down whatever is on your mind at the time.

You can also jot down thoughts that have bothered you recently (within the previous hour or two) or that you recall.

Carry on this way for seven days. For the time being, just pay bit attention to them now.

STEP 2: ACCEPTING YOUR THOUGHT

If you’re like the majority of individuals, you’ve probably jotted down a few depressing or even terrible ideas in your journal.

That is perfectly normal and nothing to be concerned about; it occurs in practically every person who begins this journey.

The reason for this is that we typically gloss over positive thoughts and forget about them. They are present; we are simply unaware of their presence.

Anyway, accept that those were the ideas you were thinking that day when you look at your thought notebook and read the thoughts back to yourself.

They aren’t good or terrible, they aren’t anything that has to be fixed or changed, and they are most likely ideas that came for a cause.

You don’t have to change your mind. They are excellent ideas, as are your ideas. Accept them as they are.

If you don’t accept your thoughts, you’ll always try to repair them, feeling frustrated when they don’t alter, and making the entire process 100 times more difficult.

You’ll try to change your thinking, fail for one reason or another, and then try to run away from the thoughts even harder, often driving you deeper into the bad mindsets you have right now.

Allow yourself to let go of the need to modify your ideas and accept them for what they are right now: thoughts.

Simply re-read what you put down at the end of the week for this stage, and try not to pass judgement on your thoughts. If you can’t do that, go back over these two steps until you feel more at ease with what’s going on in your thoughts before moving on to the next step.

STEP 3: GIVING AN ALTERNATIVE

Now, returning to your thinking diary, write something new beneath that thought.

Here, you should concentrate on writing a concept that comes to mind.

This isn’t a “better” idea or a “necessary shift,” but rather an option.

It’s also worth noting that we’re not modifying the thoughts here. We’re simply presenting a different perspective on the same problem.

Examine when you first had this concept and try to re-create the situation. What would you have like to be thinking instead at the time?

Let’s say you’re out with your friends and you’re ordering beers. You get incredibly intoxicated, and the next day you realise you can’t control yourself well, and you start judging yourself for it.

Is there anything else that came to mind? Perhaps that was an experience worth repeating? Perhaps you should be grateful that you did it so that you know not to do it so frequently in the future. Or maybe, despite how you’re feeling right now, the evening was a lot of fun and a much-needed break.

Same situation but different thought. Write this down as well.

STEP 4: RINSE AND REPEAT

As you repeat these three easy actions, patterns will begin to form. Certain situations inspire specific responses, and you find yourself thinking identical thoughts in a variety of circumstances.

Your mindset is made up of these patterns. Your entire outlook on life changes as a result of changing these, but you must start at the most fundamental level of individual thoughts.

Over time, more and more unwanted thoughts will surface, and you will gradually but steadily modify them one by one until you discover yourself thinking completely differently.

The only drawback is that you lose the ability to be ignorant about your ideas since you become uncomfortably aware of them.

Changing your perspective entails a significant amount of responsibility. Before you dive too far into it, be aware of this.

BE INFORMED THAT THIS WILL BE A LONG AND ONGOING PROCESS.

Once you are completely conscious of your thoughts, you will continue to push yourself to change them, and you will reach a point where you will no longer be able to dwell in self-pity or cry for no cause, as your mind will have been taught to manage both of those circumstances fairly instantly.

And it will be a process that will never truly end. Because you’ll be always learning new things about yourself, how you react to circumstances, and what thoughts those emotions produce.

It took me eight years, and while I have substantially changed my thinking, I would still consider myself to be far from finished.

The bright side is that it clearly makes every other moment significantly better.

You walk about with such a powerful toolkit that you can manage anything that comes your way, at least mentally.

You have a significant reduction in stress and anxiety, a significant rise in self-worth and self-esteem, and your prospects of success appear to be increasing as you perceive more opportunities in everything you do.

Keep in mind that your thoughts shape who you are and how you behave. You can determine who you will become and what will happen in your life if you take charge of them.

https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-change-my-mindset/answer/Lukas-Schwekendiek?ch=10&oid=288195995&share=69fb8490&srid=2BOh&target_type=answer